A Two Alarmer

A common word that has taken on a new meaning (well, maybe a better understood meaning) during this quarantine we are currently experiencing is 'essential'. We all have our own list of what we consider essential and each one will vary in some way.  Age will add to or take away from your list.  What is important now at my age wasn't so 'essential' a few years ago.

Because my age puts me in the at risk category, and strict orders from my daughter to stay at home, I found it necessary to place my grocery order and use the convenient curbside pickup. That is another blog post at another time. I made my grocery list of 'essentials' and picked them up several days later at my assigned time.  Both KOP (King of Patience) and I will be rocking the 70's decade this year so it should be no surprise that prunes was on my list of 'essentials'.  I like to cook them, put them in my oatmeal, yogurt, or just eat a couple as a snack.

Today, I emptied my little containter of prunes in my pan, covered it with water, and started the cooking process. It only takes a few minutes and  I needed to check my email for a reply from a recent scam (yes, I got scammed and that is another blog post at another time), so off to the computer I went. 

The shrill sound of an alarm suddenly pierced the silence and I hesitated a few seconds wondering what on earth KOP had done to set it off.  I closed out my email, got up from the computer, and headed that direction to investigate.  I had only made a few steps when the smell of something burning met me headon. I rounded the corner to the kitchen only to discover smoke boiling from my pot of prunes like a Mt St Helens erruption!  I grabbed the pot, truned off the stove, and headed to the sink to cool it off with water while KOP was punching at the alarm, speaking in tongues, trying to stop that infernal beeping.  I grabbed a magazine, stood on a chair, and started fanning the smoke in effort to shut it up when a second alarm started sounding off, and this one had a voice that told us to Evaucate Now! 

And that is when KOP headed toward the back door, leaving me standing on the chair trying to stop the eardrum puncturing noise that was telling everyone within a half mile, including the cemetery residents across the road, that Connie let the prunes burn.  He didn't even say, "Come on, Sweetheart, lets get out of here!" It was obvious that in an emergency it was going to be every man/woman for himself/herself. 

I stepped down out of the chair, abandoned the still shrieking alarm, and headed in his direction to address my concern with him when I realized that KOP was only going to the other alarm and attempting to quiet its stern orders to evacuate.  After a few minutes of open windows and doors, we were able to silence both of them.  

Then it dawned on me...my essential prunes were cremated, I can't go to the grocery store, the next date I can schedule a grocery pickup for more would be next week sometime, and my whole house smelled like burnt purnes! 

You Know it is Time to Leave the Kitchen...

Ecclesiastes 3 says: "For everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven." 

Today I added another verse.  A time to leave the kitchen.  

And you know it's time to leave the kitchen when you decide to make cranberry bran muffins, Heart Healthy muffins. As we age, bran becomes an important staple in our diet, and how better to get our bran than a delicious cranberry bran muffin. You chop up your cranberries and think 'Wow! I could probably double this recipe.'  You check your ingredients and sure enough you have enough to double the recipe...just barely enough. You put your bran and milk in the mixer...enough for a double batch... and let it set, like the recipe states,  and then you start to mix your dry ingredients. When suddenly it dawned on you that you had only put in enough of the dry ingredients for one recipe. You go back and put in another mixing of ALL the dry ingredients.  Then you start to double check the recipe to be sure you didn't leave anything out. It is then that you realize that you put enough sugar in for FOUR recipes... you had already doubled that amount of sugar once and turned around and doubled it again! (moan and groan)  

You have to make a choice, do you make some very sweet  not so heart healthy muffins, or do you add enough ingredients to quadruple the recipe to match the sugar. That is when you realize you do not have enough cranberries or eggs. Maybe making a triple recipe would keep it from being so high in sugar. Then when you start to triple your recipe, a senior moment sets in.  You can't remember what ingredients you have adjusted.....and you start second-guessing yourself on EVERYTHING you put in it!  

I don't know if I got it all right or not... except for too much sugar, but maybe there is enough bran in it to balance the bad stuff and still be somewhat heart healthy.   Now I need to figure out what I'm going to do with 48 (minus three already consumed) cranberry bran muffins.  

Time to leave the kitchen.  

Polistes Encounter

A couple of days ago, I had an unexpected encounter with a Polistes ...that is latin for wasp. I was minding my own business when from out of nowhere that little devil slammed into my forehead in violent fury and zapped me. The battle was on. I nearly knocked my brains out trying to keep it from getting in my hair and stinging me again. Lucky for me, I had not yet picked up my iron skillet to start breakfast.  I was stunned for a few seconds then the pain started.  Within a few minutes every wrinkle between my hairline and the bridge of my nose had smoothed out better than if I had injected it with botox. 
As I regained my senses, revenge was the only thing on my mind. It was apparent that 'satan with a stinger' had escaped the battle and was hiding.  There was no doubt in its mind that it has chosen the wrong victim.  I waited patiently until I heard it buzz.  I took my scissors and with one snip, I chopped off its stinger butt.  (I learned how to do that from my mother decades ago.)  Thinking that the encounter was over, I started to wash my scissors when I noticed that the front half of the stubborn little vermin was still walking and wings buzzing!  One more snip. 
Today my forehead is still slightly swollen, a little sore to touch, and my headache almost gone.  I still haven't figured out if the headache came from the sting or was self inflicted during the battle.